need beer advice

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Re: need beer advice

Postby Biker » Thu Feb 07, 2008 11:03 pm

Here ya go ydx7 I saw this and thought you might find this guide a handy little addition to your already impressive reportiore.

Biker



THE BEERDRINKER'S A - Z TROUBLESHOOTING GUIDE


Symtom: Feet cold and wet


Cause: Glass Being held at incorrect angle.


Solution: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling



Symtom: Feet warm and wet


Cause: Improper Bladder Control


Solution: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about lack of house training



Symtom: Beer unusually pale and tasteless


Cause: a. Glass empty.

Cause: b. You're holding a Coors Lite


Solution: Get someone to buy you another beer



Symtom: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights


Cause: You have fallen over backwards.


Solution: Have yourself lashed to bar



Symtom: Mouth contains cigarette butts, back of head covered with ashes


Cause: You have fallen forward


Solution: See above



Symtom: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet


Cause: a. Mouth not open

Cause: b. Glass applied to wrong part of face


Solution: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror



Symtom: Floor Blurred


Cause: You are looking through bottom of empty glass


Solution: Get someone to buy you another beer


Symptom: Floor moving


Cause: You are being carried out


Solution: Find out if you are being taken to another bar



Symtom: Room seems unusually dark


Cause: Bar has closed


Solution: Confirm home address with bartender If staff is gone, grab a six-pack to go and hit the nearest fire escape door. Run



Symtom: Taxi suddenly takes on colourful aspect and textures


Cause: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations


Solution: Cover mouth, open window, stick head outside



Symtom: Everyone looks up to you and smiles


Cause: You are dancing on the table


Solution: Fall on someone cushy-looking



Symtom: Beer is crystal-clear


Cause: It's water! Somebody is trying to sober you up


Solution: Punch him



Symtom: People are standing around urinals, talking or putting on makeup


Cause: You're in the ladies' room


Solution: Do not use urinal! It's the sink!! Excuse yourself, exit and try the next door down the hall. Try to get phone numbers (optional)



Symtom: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear


Cause: You have been in a fight


Solution: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them



Symtom: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in


Cause: You've wandered into the wrong party


Solution: See if they have free beer



Symtom: Your bedroom is painted gray, has a concrete floor and an interesting steel door. Toilet may be conveniently located next to your bunk


Cause: a. You're in jail

Cause: b. You're in the navy


Solution: Sleep it off, you can always get out tomorrow. Don't talk to your new roommate, and under no circumstances sleep on your stomach



Symtom: You are dancing to a Village People song, and your partner is wearing leather chaps


Cause: You're in a gay bar


Solution: Keeping your back to the wall, edge toward nearest exit. Do not accept offers for backrubs



Symtom: Your singing sounds distorted


Cause: The beer is too weak


Solution: Have more beer until your voice improves



Symtom: Don't remember the words to the song


Cause: Beer is just right


Solution: Play air guitar
Are we living in a land where sex and horror are the new gods?

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Re: need beer advice

Postby ydx7 » Fri Feb 08, 2008 8:30 pm

I think it'll be 2 weeks instead.



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Re: need beer advice

Postby draknoir2 » Tue Feb 12, 2008 4:35 pm

"Two days ago, I saw a vehicle that would haul that tanker. You want to get out of here? You talk to me."
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Re: need beer advice

Postby ydx7 » Thu May 15, 2008 11:00 pm

After a long delay, it's that time again. I already bought 3. 2 are relatively common. I will commence drinking tomorrow(Fri).

Also, I will be taking one of my pawn shop/thift store trips. So I may post if I find anything interesting. Or, if any of you here want to read about musical equipment.



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Re: need beer advice

Postby ydx7 » Sat May 17, 2008 6:58 pm

My first beer is Red Stripe lager. This does not have much of the beer taste. Same after 5 min. I just burped and got major nose burn. Same after 10 min. It seems like the beer taste varies by how you drink it. When you get the beer taste, it quickly dissapates in your mouth. Same after 15 min. Same after 20 min.



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Re: need beer advice

Postby ydx7 » Sun May 18, 2008 5:55 pm

The second is Bass pale ale. The name makes me wonder if it's going to taste like a fish or a Rickenbacker 4001. It doesn't have that much of a beer taste. It's not thate pale either, unless you're comparing it to something like Guniness. After 5 min, the beer taste occurs when it hits the back of my mouth. It also seems I am getting a bit of a metallic taste. No change after 10 min. No change after 15 min. No change after 20 min.



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Re: need beer advice

Postby ydx7 » Sun May 18, 2008 10:27 pm

The final beeris JW Dundee's Original Honey Brown honey flavored lager. It tastes kind of beery. There is no honey taste. Less beer taste after 5 min. Maybe a litte more* after 10 min. I think I'm getting the honey taste only after doing the good old empty mouth swish, but not immediately after taking a sip, and then maybe only after belching. Not much change at 15 and 20 min.

* I think I discovered something. I'll try to type it up tomorrow at work where I have a fully operational keyboard.



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Re: need beer advice

Postby ydx7 » Tue May 27, 2008 7:58 pm

- I'm finally able to type some stuff up.

My discovery is related to this sentence:

It seems like the beer taste varies by how you drink it.

This is due to the gas in the beer. The way you drink it affects how much of the gas is released as fizz. Since it's been over a week I'm not 100% sure, but I think getting fizz is related to the beery taste. If this is true, maybe with some of the beers, letting them sit lets the gas dissipate and lets the other flavors come through.



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Re: need beer advice

Postby Redd4 » Sun Jun 01, 2008 11:38 pm

I would agree that taste could depend on how you drink it, in that if you put a certain beer in a glass, it will taste different from how it would taste straight out of the can or bottle, but in a subtle way;
But beers do have different tastes; Budweiser will taste like piss, no matter what, (and I've tasted piss, so I know--let's not go into it), and smaller, less mass-produced beers will taste better, just because they have to be better to make it.
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Re: need beer advice

Postby ydx7 » Wed Jul 09, 2008 11:30 pm

Bought some today so stay tuned.



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