Page 10 of 12

Re: need beer advice

PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 11:03 pm
by Biker
Here ya go ydx7 I saw this and thought you might find this guide a handy little addition to your already impressive reportiore.



Symtom: Feet cold and wet

Cause: Glass Being held at incorrect angle.

Solution: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling

Symtom: Feet warm and wet

Cause: Improper Bladder Control

Solution: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about lack of house training

Symtom: Beer unusually pale and tasteless

Cause: a. Glass empty.

Cause: b. You're holding a Coors Lite

Solution: Get someone to buy you another beer

Symtom: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights

Cause: You have fallen over backwards.

Solution: Have yourself lashed to bar

Symtom: Mouth contains cigarette butts, back of head covered with ashes

Cause: You have fallen forward

Solution: See above

Symtom: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet

Cause: a. Mouth not open

Cause: b. Glass applied to wrong part of face

Solution: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror

Symtom: Floor Blurred

Cause: You are looking through bottom of empty glass

Solution: Get someone to buy you another beer

Symptom: Floor moving

Cause: You are being carried out

Solution: Find out if you are being taken to another bar

Symtom: Room seems unusually dark

Cause: Bar has closed

Solution: Confirm home address with bartender If staff is gone, grab a six-pack to go and hit the nearest fire escape door. Run

Symtom: Taxi suddenly takes on colourful aspect and textures

Cause: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations

Solution: Cover mouth, open window, stick head outside

Symtom: Everyone looks up to you and smiles

Cause: You are dancing on the table

Solution: Fall on someone cushy-looking

Symtom: Beer is crystal-clear

Cause: It's water! Somebody is trying to sober you up

Solution: Punch him

Symtom: People are standing around urinals, talking or putting on makeup

Cause: You're in the ladies' room

Solution: Do not use urinal! It's the sink!! Excuse yourself, exit and try the next door down the hall. Try to get phone numbers (optional)

Symtom: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear

Cause: You have been in a fight

Solution: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them

Symtom: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in

Cause: You've wandered into the wrong party

Solution: See if they have free beer

Symtom: Your bedroom is painted gray, has a concrete floor and an interesting steel door. Toilet may be conveniently located next to your bunk

Cause: a. You're in jail

Cause: b. You're in the navy

Solution: Sleep it off, you can always get out tomorrow. Don't talk to your new roommate, and under no circumstances sleep on your stomach

Symtom: You are dancing to a Village People song, and your partner is wearing leather chaps

Cause: You're in a gay bar

Solution: Keeping your back to the wall, edge toward nearest exit. Do not accept offers for backrubs

Symtom: Your singing sounds distorted

Cause: The beer is too weak

Solution: Have more beer until your voice improves

Symtom: Don't remember the words to the song

Cause: Beer is just right

Solution: Play air guitar

Re: need beer advice

PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 8:30 pm
by ydx7
I think it'll be 2 weeks instead.

Re: need beer advice

PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 4:35 pm
by draknoir2

Re: need beer advice

PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 11:00 pm
by ydx7
After a long delay, it's that time again. I already bought 3. 2 are relatively common. I will commence drinking tomorrow(Fri).

Also, I will be taking one of my pawn shop/thift store trips. So I may post if I find anything interesting. Or, if any of you here want to read about musical equipment.

Re: need beer advice

PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2008 6:58 pm
by ydx7
My first beer is Red Stripe lager. This does not have much of the beer taste. Same after 5 min. I just burped and got major nose burn. Same after 10 min. It seems like the beer taste varies by how you drink it. When you get the beer taste, it quickly dissapates in your mouth. Same after 15 min. Same after 20 min.

Re: need beer advice

PostPosted: Sun May 18, 2008 5:55 pm
by ydx7
The second is Bass pale ale. The name makes me wonder if it's going to taste like a fish or a Rickenbacker 4001. It doesn't have that much of a beer taste. It's not thate pale either, unless you're comparing it to something like Guniness. After 5 min, the beer taste occurs when it hits the back of my mouth. It also seems I am getting a bit of a metallic taste. No change after 10 min. No change after 15 min. No change after 20 min.

Re: need beer advice

PostPosted: Sun May 18, 2008 10:27 pm
by ydx7
The final beeris JW Dundee's Original Honey Brown honey flavored lager. It tastes kind of beery. There is no honey taste. Less beer taste after 5 min. Maybe a litte more* after 10 min. I think I'm getting the honey taste only after doing the good old empty mouth swish, but not immediately after taking a sip, and then maybe only after belching. Not much change at 15 and 20 min.

* I think I discovered something. I'll try to type it up tomorrow at work where I have a fully operational keyboard.

Re: need beer advice

PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2008 7:58 pm
by ydx7
- I'm finally able to type some stuff up.

My discovery is related to this sentence:

It seems like the beer taste varies by how you drink it.

This is due to the gas in the beer. The way you drink it affects how much of the gas is released as fizz. Since it's been over a week I'm not 100% sure, but I think getting fizz is related to the beery taste. If this is true, maybe with some of the beers, letting them sit lets the gas dissipate and lets the other flavors come through.

Re: need beer advice

PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 11:38 pm
by Redd4
I would agree that taste could depend on how you drink it, in that if you put a certain beer in a glass, it will taste different from how it would taste straight out of the can or bottle, but in a subtle way;
But beers do have different tastes; Budweiser will taste like piss, no matter what, (and I've tasted piss, so I know--let's not go into it), and smaller, less mass-produced beers will taste better, just because they have to be better to make it.

Re: need beer advice

PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 11:30 pm
by ydx7
Bought some today so stay tuned.